More Bitching LOL
Well I guess it's nice to have an outlet to bitch on.. If you don't like it, well you don't have to read it... LOL
Well I had tachycardia this morning. I felt weird so decided to use the kardia and found out my heart rate was over 100. Then I used the finger monitor and it went up to like 125 and back down. The kardia said tachycardia. I texted hubby on his work number and on messenger. But of course I heard nothing... he tells me to text him there when something is going on since he can't have his phone but yet never checks it..just like the other day. I will tell him about it when he calls so he can say he didn't see it or whatever.....fuck it. So I called my mom instead and went to the bathroom and took a tums. Then I kept blowing on my thumb and it finally came back down and went back to the 60s. Either I was having digestion issues again or was having anxiety about where to go for my birthday tomorrow because I was on the computer looking at different things and also annoyed about how hot it is going to bee tomorrow.
Then my mom told me how my ex friend posted on her page about looking for a roommate and how she didn't need help with groceries cause she gets help with that.. I'm like what? She was just asking me for money the other day saying she didn't have food and I stupidly sent $20 thinking she was starving... and because she said she would pay me back in a few days which was yesterday. And she sent nothing! So guess she was lying as always. And the day before she was supposed to pay me back she was asking for more money saying she needed to get her meds. Just like she gets help for food - probably snap - I know she gets Medicaid for meds. Then she didn't pay me back at all of course. So yeah, I'm done with that lying ass bitch. I don't blame that person for leaving her. I'm sure she did a bunch of fucked up shit just like she always does. She could have had a good friend that you known since high school but all she does is lie and use people and well I'm not dealing with her at all anymore now. That's what I get for having a good heart and trying to be nice.
As for my birthday tomorrow I think I just want to go to Florence instead of all the way to Charlotte. I saw a neat vegan place we can try and they have some cool antique stores and thrift stores too and they still have a decent mall with an arcade in it. I am just getting over that sickness I had and hubby has sinuitis and stuff. He got meds yesterday from Urgent care. So he would also probably prefer to not drive so far as well. Also the heat will be terrible. 109 heat index tomorrow on my birthday really pisses me off. I hate living in the south.
But yeah I may have been conned but she is the one that lost a real friend.
Stupid lying asshole
I bet that lying lil bitch can't reach me anymore. I changed my google number yesterday and she will never get it. no wonder she got left. she was a shitty friend as well. no wonder they called her a liar... cause she is. nothing but a user and a liar and i'm glad that fake ass is out of my life for good. she was never my friend. just someone she talked to when she was bored or going through shit or needed something. anyways, my birthday is tomorrow and i don't have to worry about someone texting me asking for money even on my days or even when i'm sick. glad i don't have to deal with it anymore. even when i said i can't or no she would still ask later. Been asking me for over a year straight all because one time i was nice and sent her some money on her birthday. then i tried to be nice and help a few times but she would always lie about paying me back either she wouldn't send any at all or send less than i sent her. fuck that bitch.
Birthday Saturday
My birthday is Saturday and honestly I'm so drained and stuff IDGAF lol. Probably going to Charlotte or some shit. I can't enjoy that much anymore cause I'm always so damn exhausted. I'm sure I will feel better when this fucking heat leaves. I loathe Summer and Spring. I wish my birthday and anniversary was in the Fall or Winter. I hate my birthday is in the Summer instead of the fall like it was supposed to be. 99 fucking degrees Saturday. I hate how my anniversary is in the Summer too. I only did it then so my son could come, but fuck that shit. I loathe Summer.
National Wildlife Day
Yes leave our wildlife alone. Stop cutting down trees for data centers and more buildings. Leave the animals home alone and our nature alone. We love our trees and our shade and being able to walk in parks and stuff. We need places for the animals and places to walk and shade and oxygen. I am so tired of seeing trees cut down that was nature for so long just to build stupid ass buildings and shit. We do not want data centers here either.
HOH
LOL - So True.. I'm not really good at anything.. I just like doing a lot of different things I love aka my hobbies.
Thrifting
LOL - I love when I can take my time thrifting and don't have to be in a hurry. When I am feeling well though. Sometimes I get drained in some stores and can't stay as long or get tired. But I love when I feel good and get to shop longer and take my time and hit up more than one thrift store.
PS5 New Feature
Hubby has a PS5. I guess this is a cool feature to have since they are going to make gaming suck by not letting you own the physical media soon and taking away the disc drive. A lot of people are not going to upgrade because of that. Hubby is one of them. Because if you just have the game on digital they can pull it whenever they want and you don't own it or be able to play it anymore. What a waste. Also owning physical media like games, dvds, vhs, cds, cassettes and all that has came back in style and people love to have vintage things now. I guess they can always go back to the playstation and playstation 2 and play the old games from the disc. I love old school retro games anyway especially on the nintendo and the old atari.
Help for tachycardia after eating...
Last night my heart was racing a bit after eating. Guess I ate too many tots. I also had a vegan burger patty. But before eating I ate a snack that I got at the gas station we stopped at on the way home. Salt & Vinegar chips and a chocolate bar. So yeah I was overfull. A lot of times my digestion issues trigger my tachycardia issues and even svt before. So I was having stomach issues and it kept going over 100 then to the 90s and 80s but when I moved it would go back up. of course that had me feeling panicky. i was trying to lay down and relax. Then i decided to take a tums to soothe the stomach. That seemed to help. then i had a short nap when trying to relax. so yeah if you overeat and are having a fast heart rate after of course go to the bathroom and stuff and then try taking tums or pepcid or whatever you take to soothe the stomach. a lot of times it's stomach issues from digestion or being over full. then try to relax and even try to get a nap if you can while letting the stuff work. also drink some water.. that can help too. dehydration is another trigger. but yeah i hate that crap.. it always triggers my anxiety. that on top of me being sick with respiratory stuff this past week. no fun.
Yeah,
Yeah I started blogging again because I don't really have any friends on social media or real life anymore besides some hubby and some fam. I just focus on hobbies. So yeah I have started blogging again and also started doing junk journals... I am not as creative as those other ones I've seen online but it's still fun and relaxing to do. I love putting memories in there and lots of stickers. I even put some stickers on my son's birthday card I sent him this year... I want to create him and others a journal later too. It takes time.
Took my last antibiotic today
Yeah I am glad about that. I still got my allergy meds to still take though. Also today was annoying as fuck again earlier today. I was in the shower and my nose ring came out and disappeared just like that. I guess it went down the drain. I guess it disappeared just like my brush did yesterday.. Still haven't found my brush. So I had to use my care bears brush. I didn't feel like looking for the other one today much because I had other stuff to do and was pissed off I lost my nose ring after 9am. Bullshit was already starting. I'm like I'm tired of getting attacked and picked on so I demanded those evil mofos to go back to where they came from. So I texted my hubby to go get me a replacement nose ring on his break to bring home before we went to the DMV today after he got off of work. Well he did but it wouldn't go back in and hurt like hell. So we went to the DMV. Went to the Manning one this time and it only took like 15 minutes. Those people were so much nicer than the ones last week in Sumter. It was funny though when I had to do the eye test and didn't see the first few numbers cause I didn't press my head on the thing.. I was like I don't think I'm that blind LMFAO. So yeah I got my license renewed. Then we had to go back into Sumter to the piercing shop and the lady finally got the nose piercing back in. Hurt so much had my eyes watering. Hope it don't come out anymore. Can't keep doing that. So things are good now minus hubby not feeling so great. He's taking some meds though so hopefully his is good by Saturday so we can do something for my birthday. Yeah got some kind of upper respiratory illness. Started with an itchy throat and ears then my ears felt full. I think they felt full before that then I started sneezing a lot then itchiness. A couple of days later I was coughing. Started dry then had mucus. Went to urgent care and tested negative for strep, flu and covid but she did hear some wheezing in lungs so I got antibiotics to make sure it didn't turn into bronchitis or pneumonia. And of course the allergy meds - Flonase and generic Clariton. Then I lost my taste and smell also but got that back yesterday thankfully. it has lasted a week.
Here is my new nose ring.
Pissed the FUCK off
I am so pissed off lately. For the last week I have been sick then today I lost my brush and can't find it at all when I just used it right before. And I gotta go back to the DMFUCKINGV tomorrow cause last week they were assholes so I didn't get nothing done. And that was the same day I started getting sick. And it just got worse from there....And I just got my taste and smell back today and now hubby is getting sick and my birthday is Saturday. FMDFL! I mean how the fuck does a brush go missing when I used it to brush my hair right before doing my hair.... and we looked everywhere? WTF.
Some of my vintage jewelry I remember
I had some red clip on earrings. They were like red squarish earrings...
Then when I was like 11 or 12ish I got my ears pierced at Claires that was inside the mall. They were little and black with a white stripe down it. One time the back got stuck in my ear. And we had to go to get a doctor to push it through. lol. Those earring holes can stink too.
Also in the 80s I had a Pink Ice Ring. it was oval shaped and the rest was gold. Then the stone came off somehow.
This is how my ring looked something like this: I loved it. My mom got if for me.
Are You a Blue Ray Starseed? The Deep Connection Between Trauma, Sensitivity, and Your Cosmic Origins
If you have ever looked around society and felt like you are operating on an entirely different frequency—or if you carry a profound, quiet ache in your chest for a home you can’t quite name—you might be a starseed.
Among the various starseed lineages, the Blue Rays occupy a very unique, highly sensitive, and often misunderstood space. While much is written about the fiery, boundary-pushing nature of Indigos or the crystalline purity of Crystal children, Blue Rays are the quiet alchemists of the cosmos.
Unlocking this identity isn't just about looking to the stars; it often requires looking inward at a lifetime of deep-seated trauma, hypersensitivity, and the ultimate journey of healing. Here is a comprehensive look at what it means to be a Blue Ray Starseed, how trauma shapes your path, and what it takes to step fully into your spiritual power.
What Is a Blue Ray Starseed?
Originating from spiritually evolved star systems—most notably Pleiades, Sirius, Orion, Andromeda, and Arcturus—Blue Rays are souls who volunteered to incarnate on Earth to help anchor higher dimensions of consciousness. They are often closely aligned with the Blue Ray of Creation and Archangel Michael.
Unlike other starseed groups who might come in to tear down old paradigms with loud, revolutionary energy, Blue Rays are transmuters. They came to Earth to absorb dense, heavy, lower-vibrational energy, process it within their own energy fields, and gently release it back out as light. They are the ultimate empaths, peacekeepers, and invisible pillars holding up the spiritual architecture of the collective.
The Heavy Burden: Trauma and the Blue Ray Soul
You cannot talk about the Blue Ray experience without talking about trauma. By design, Blue Rays incarnate into heavily dense, chaotic environments—often coming from difficult family lineages or intense childhood backgrounds.
The Blueprint of the Scapegoat: Many Blue Rays grew up feeling like the "black sheep" or the emotional sponge of their families. Because of your natural ability to sense unspoken emotions, you likely absorbed the stress, anxiety, and unhealed trauma of your parents and peers from a very early age.
Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) and Hypervigilance: Because your nervous system is wired to detect energetic shifts, you are deeply prone to chronic hypervigilance. You learned early on how to read a room before you even walked into it to keep the peace. This often manifests later in life as anxiety, chronic fatigue, or autoimmune challenges due to your body constantly processing stress that isn't even yours.
The Trap of People-Pleasing: Early trauma often teaches Blue Rays that their safety depends on keeping everyone else calm. You learned to shrink your own energy, swallow your words, and put everyone else's needs first—a pattern that takes immense, conscious effort to break.
Comprehensive Signs You Are a Blue Ray Starseed
To help you piece together your journey, look for these foundational markers across your physical, emotional, and spiritual life:
1. Physical and Energetic Traits
The Throat Chakra Connection: Because your soul mission revolves around speaking hidden truths and holding high frequencies, you likely deal with chronic throat issues—a tickle in the throat, thyroid imbalances, losing your voice during times of stress, or feeling like your words are physically blocked.
Deep Water Affinity: You are profoundly healed by water. Long, hot showers are non-negotiable for washing away the energetic "grime" of the day, and you feel an intense pull toward oceans, lakes, and rainstorms.
Extreme Physiological Sensitivity: You may react strongly to caffeine, sugar, harsh electromagnetic fields (EMFs), loud noises, and crowded environments. Your vessel is delicate because it is tuned to a higher octave.
2. Emotional and Psychological Traits
The Introverted Mystic: You love humanity deeply, but human interaction drains you. You need extensive, non-negotiable periods of isolation to decompress and return to your center.
Feeling Invisible Yet Vital: You often feel caught in a paradox: you spend your life blending into the background, avoiding the spotlight, yet whenever you walk into a room or a crisis, people instinctively lean on you for stability.
Deep-Seated Homesickness: Since early childhood, looking up at the night sky hasn't brought fear; it has brought a deep, aching tearfulness—a cellular memory of a peaceful, harmonious home far away from Earth.
The Awakening: From Victim of Energy to Master Alchemist
Discovering you are a Blue Ray is rarely a lightbulb moment of instant bliss; it usually happens in the wake of a dark night of the soul.
Usually triggered by a major life breakdown, a health crisis, or a painful relationship ending, the awakening forces a Blue Ray to stop absorbing everyone else's chaos. You realize that your exhaustion isn't a personal failure—it is the result of carrying an unmanaged energetic load for decades.
Healing for a Blue Ray requires shifting out of the "sponge" mentality and stepping into alchemical mastery:
Setting Hard Energetic Boundaries: Learning to say no, walking away from toxic dynamics, and realizing that you are not responsible for fixing or saving everyone.
Somatic Release: Because trauma is stored deeply in the body, Blue Rays heal best through somatic practices—gentle movement, breathwork, massage, and vocal toning to unblock the throat chakra.
Reclaiming Your Voice: Expressing your inner truth through writing, art, or quiet leadership. Your words carry a frequency that can heal others, but you must first give yourself permission to speak.
Embracing Your Cosmic Purpose
Being a Blue Ray in a harsh, fast-paced world is not easy. It requires tremendous courage to remain soft in a world that can be so hard. But your sensitivity is not a flaw—it is your superpower. By doing your own inner healing work, processing your trauma, and guarding your energy, you anchor a profound anchor of peace onto this planet.
Does this resonate with your life story? How have you navigated sensitivity and healing on your journey? Let’s chat in the comments below!
How To Start Junk Journaling
If you have ever scrolled through social media and admired those thick, textured, vintage-looking journals bursting with pockets, lace, and ephemera, you might be tempted to think you need an expensive shopping spree to get started.
The secret the crafting community doesn't always tell you? The best junk journals are made from literal trash and everyday items.
Junk journaling is all about repurposing, sustainability, and creative expression. If you want to dive into this addictive hobby without breaking the bank, here is your step-by-step guide to building a gorgeous journal using supplies you likely already have around the house.
Step 1: Hunt for Your "Junk" (Free Ephemera)
Before you buy a single craft supply, look around your home. The foundation of any good junk journal is free, discarded paper. Keep an eye out for:
Old book pages: Damaged paperbacks, old dictionaries, or foreign-language books give your pages a wonderful vintage texture.
Mail and packaging: Envelopes (especially with interesting inner security tints), brown packing paper, cardboard boxes from online orders, and junk mail flyers.
Paper goods: Sheet music, old maps, expired calendars, greeting cards, ticket stubs, and grocery receipts.
Tip: Start a designated "treasure box" or shoebox. Whenever you see a pretty napkin, a cool postage stamp, or a textured paper bag, toss it in!
Step 2: Find or Make Your Cover
You don't need to buy a blank leather notebook. You can upcycle sturdy materials to form your cover:
The cereal box method: Cut the front and back panels off an old cereal box, cracker box, or shipping box. They provide the perfect sturdy cardboard base.
Cover it up: Wrap your cardboard pieces in decorative gift wrap, brown grocery bag paper, or fabric scraps using a simple glue stick or double-sided tape.
Step 3: Gather Minimalist Tools
You only need a few basic household tools to assemble your book:
Scissors or a craft knife
A glue stick or a simple tape runner
A ruler and a pencil
A needle and strong thread (like embroidery floss or heavy-duty sewing thread) for binding.
Step 4: Assemble Your Signatures (Pages)
In junk journaling, a "signature" is just a small bundle of folded pages nested together.
Take 4 to 6 sheets of mixed paper (a mix of book pages, lined notebook paper, and brown paper).
Fold them all in half together to form a booklet.
Make 2 or 3 of these small booklets. This is much easier to bind than trying to sew a massive stack of paper all at once.
Step 5: Bind Your Journal
Don't let bookbinding intimidate you! The 3-hole pamphlet stitch is beginner-friendly and holds everything together securely:
Nest your page signatures inside your decorated cover.
Open the journal to the exact middle fold of the first signature.
Use a needle or a pushpin to poke three holes along the center crease (one in the middle, one near the top, and one near the bottom).
Thread your needle and sew in-and-out through the holes, tying a secure knot on the outside or inside of the spine. Repeat for any other signatures.
Step 6: Decorate and Fill Your Pages
Now comes the fun part! You don't have to fill your journal linearly from front to back.
Layer textures: Glue down a piece of old sheet music, slap a postage stamp on top, and add a ripped piece of a brown paper bag.
Make pockets: Glue down three sides of an envelope to the page so you can tuck secret notes, tags, or pressed leaves inside.
Just start writing: Write your thoughts, paste in photos, or use it as an art diary to test out paint, ink, and stamps.
Final Thoughts
The beauty of junk journaling is that there are no rules. Your pages don't have to look like a Pinterest board; they just have to be a reflection of your creativity.
Have you tried junk journaling before, or are you gathering supplies for your very first book? Let me know in the comments below!
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